Often when we think of therapy, we think about two people sitting in an office talking for an hour per week. Therapy can be a
In the 1960s, it was common for police to barge into LGBT venues and gay bars to disrupt the peace. During that time, LGBT people
When it comes to attachment, there is a rule that seems to apply, regardless of your style; it self-perpetuates. It is similar to Newton’s first law of physics, which we will paraphrase loosely here as ‘an object in motion stays in motion.’ Attachment that is based on distrust and defensiveness is destined to continue along that path until it is intervened upon with behavioral changes and attachment work.
Depression, anxiety, substance use issues, suicidal thoughts; no one should try to deal with these challenges on their own, yet everyday thousands of LGBTQ people are doing that exact thing. Mental health stigma has improved dramatically over the past twenty years, but it still exists. When you combine the mental health stigma and the stigma that prevails in some subsections of culture regarding the LGBTQ population, it is easy to understand why it is so hard to reach out.
In a world where we are constantly comparing ourselves and our lives to others, a little self-acceptance and positive affirmation can really help. While it may feel like a glorified pep-talk, positive affirmations actually work, and this makes sense when you think about it. When you talk to a friend who gives you good feedback about yourself or helps put things in perspective, it feels great; so naturally when we can do that for ourselves it also works. Who can give us better encouragement and affirmation than ourselves? When we check into our inner thoughts and feelings, we know where the insecurities lie; we know the tender spots in our ego that need love and nurturing.
As progressive as the US has become, the ugly reality of bigotry continues to loom over the heads of the LGBT community. From hate crimes to negative comments, everyday life can feel like a landmine. Dealing with bigots and biased people is exhausting and downright scary at times. As inexcusable as it is, there are ways to deal with these people that deflate the hate without going toe-to-toe and resorting to a physical altercation.
You know what they say, opinions are like noses, everyone has one. Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in worrying about what others think of us. Sure, we all want to be liked. But when we get too attached to the way others feel about us, it can wreak havoc on our self-esteem and cause us to second-guess ourselves unnecessarily.
Our attachment styles are deeply ingrained by the time we reach adulthood. As mentioned in the previous article, attachment style is developed even in utero, and it is fostered throughout our early childhood, often becoming reinforced by family dynamics and peer relationships throughout life. When one has insecure attachments, it impacts most relationships, from co-workers to friends and of course, intimate relationships.